RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD; THE BIRTHRIGHT OF EVERY CHILD by Ezekiel Adewale Fatomilola

Femi, the first child of Raymond and Dorcas(Mr and Mrs Daniels) stood in the doorway, watched his parents act drama. His eyes couldn’t leave the two faces as he observed with innocence the people he loved most tore each other apart . The last child of the Union, Anuoluwapo fell to the ground with the shock that took over the woman when she sighted her husband with machete. He rolled on the floor, cried at intervals and clutched the toy in one hand and drew the hem of the mother’s gown with the other hand. The only comfort he received was the shedding of combination of blood and tears from the mother’s battered face. Of course, he didn’t have an idea of the ongoing incident.

Many theories have been advanced to explain the poor state of our nations’ children; child care,absence of both parents, instilling of societal values and eventual output of the child on his or her generation. A factor that has been largely ignored, however, particularly among child and family policymakers, is the prevalence and devastating effects of single or no parents’ presence in children’s lives.
The sad fact is that parents in our society are not supported in the fulfillment of their parental responsibilities, and divorced parents in particular often undermined their responsibilities as parents, and this has reflected in the large numbers of “non- custodial” or “non-residential” parents and of course forcefully removed from their children’s lives, as daily caregivers.
My target of concern is how these lads can enjoy to the fullest Responsible parenthood (Their birthright)from the two people who birthed them and not caregivers .

Have you ever wondered who birthed the toddlers you see selling in holdups? Does it tear your heart apart about the sexual abuse of children of age 5,6 and above in the slum? How about those 4 years old orphans who are house maids? Who do you think made those children who are supposed to be in school learning to be on the streets hawking? No one and nothing else caused these but evasiness of responsibilities by those who birthed them.
One cannot therefore, but ask the pertinent questions: Why are these helpless children out of school, if their parents really cared about their educational development and ultimately their future? Why bring them to an increasingly complex world when they have little or nothing to care to them? Does it not amount to sheer wickedness added to folly that a grown up man would keep breeding more children than he and his wife could adequately cater to, erroneously believing that God would send manna from heaven to feed them?

I think the answer to these rhetorics is that the ever increasing number of children without Fathers and mothers today is due to nothing but the nauseating domination of boys and girls instead of men and women. They had no time to watch their wards grow; to sexually produce them is even easier than ABC.

But is there catholicon to this obnoxious state? Of course there are but before then let’s see the effect of irresponsible parenthood on these children.

Everyday families die globally, some due to infidelity, some workaholism, and others personality clashes. Unfortunately some of these things were in establishment even prior to the oath taking on the altar. While the demand for urgent intervention is high in families with this instability, there is grave concern for rescuing of courtship without focus and relationships without directions among the Unmarried because the consequences are porous if not deadly. For instance, Demo and Acock in 1991 reported that in mother-only families, children tend to experience short-term and long-term economic and psychological disadvantages; higher absentee rates at school, lower levels of education, and higher dropout rates (with boys more negatively affected than girls); and more delinquent activity, including alcohol and drug addiction. Adolescents on the other hand, are more negatively affected by parental discord prior to divorce than by living in single-parent families and actually gain in responsibility as a result of altered family routines. Children in single-mother homes are also more likely to experience health-related problems as a result of the decline in their living standard, including the lack of health insurance according to Mauldin in the year 1990. Also as these children from single-parent families become adults, they are more likely to marry early, have children early, and divorce. These of course are evident among nowadays youth. Girls are at greater risk of becoming single mothers as a result of non-marital childbearing or divorce.

All these psychological implications pose more threats in other areas of lives of the children. For instance, the child develops sense of insecurity, lack of life skills, lack of complete moral upbringing, deprivation of love, sense of mistrust and inferiority.Some wards don’t have a situation of an absent parents, while others share in disadvantages of the excessive reproduction of their parents with little or nothing to cater to them.

Then what is the panacea?
Anyone who looks for marriage must have a degree of maturity. By knowing before-hand that marriage comes with storm and understanding those things that bring marital satisfaction and family oneness. Some have gone out of their way to remain in the marriage unhappy, despite different episodes of physical abuse and yet still move on in the marriage.
There is no doubt that this awareness of some specific factors according to which people could forecast the success or failure of their marriage will help them take notice of their usefulness, in order to achieve a greater level of adjustment. It is true that no one marries with the intention of failing, but the secret of a successful marriage does not lie in luck and there are some basic consideration for each of the spouses.
Marriage, like any social system requires a variety of preparations, such as the ability of the person to be responsible so as to deliver the incredible and achieve the unachievable marital success in order to avoid birthing further handicapping situations.

After all has been said, is there really a catholicon to this scourge? Yes! And this is centered round the parents, since the choice of bringing forth a hero is from them. Below is the suggested way out:

As responsible parents, here are just few things you must know, adhere to and put in place.
1. You must bring your children up in the ways of the Lord.
2. You must give the qualitative education up to university level at least to them.
3. You must provide them all the basic human needs such as food, clothes, shelter, care, advice, money etc. Up to university level and beyond.
4. You must follow them up educationally even as they decide what career to pursue.
5. You must help them choose a career, friend and husband but must never impose any of these on them.
6. You must be their closest friend and best adviser.
7. You must be their role models. They should be proud of you as parents and tend to live their lives the way you lived yours although in an improved form.
8. You must allow them their privacy but proper supervision so that it won’t be abused.

As a parent or potential parent, you might find yourself in the trap of doing otherwise but please try and take cognizance of the above mentioned and try as much as you can to do them.

Finally ,I call on policies makers,and the stakeholders in the family and marriage institutions that devalue the importance of parents in children’s lives, and parental involvement as critical to children’s well-being. Children need both parents, and parents need the support of social institutions in regard to being there for their kids. Happy 2016 Children’s day!!! #OneAfricanChild cares

This is an inspiration from the Holy Sprit through Ezekiel Adewale Fatomilola,campaign manager at FFD Nation, an NGO concerned with helping orphans, fatherless, Motherless, IDPS become useful in the society and deliver the incredible as they simultaneously achieve the unachievable.
Ezekiel is clamouring for societal repositoning through the resurrection of the family institution. …(07066444111 / easycare77@gmail.com)

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THE VOICE OF AN AFRICAN CHILD #1africanchild #poetry #children #Africa

In the heart of Nigeria, shines a light that was born from the wombs of Mother Africa. The sense of Hope and Faith. That light is called Emmanuel Fada, a young leader and a 17 years old scholar of Jumpstart Academy, Nigeria. He is passionate about Writing and Drama. Emmanuel finds great pleasure in impacting lives of African children and youths. He desires to be an African leader, a resource person and an outstanding movie producer in the near future.

Emmanuel Fada, the vision of a young poet.
Emmanuel Fada, the vision of a young poet.

Emmanuel has a word from his soul, and he decides to share it with your soul. Here he goes:

The Voice of an African Child

I am confused… I am fed up…
How I wish papa could give this a stop
Though Mama tries and so hard
Having us just a meal per day, Oh how sad
For good clothings and shelter, I doubt if we will ever come across
I doubt tide ever helps carry this heavy cross
Well, this is our fate
Is there anything to celebrate?
In the humiliated lives of these eight to grow
Including my very self and the poor widow
We are subject to hate and baits
Seeking for freedom where derision reigns
Oh poor hands of mine, seeing off my sibling
That young life in the bed of sickness shivering
Oh, subconsciously I am echoing out my thoughts
(Sigh) I am not surprised at why Mama thinks a lot
I feel upon us
Poverty is like a curse
And blessing seems hollow nurse
But thanks to papa I learnt to yield grace
And I dug mud and earth for money to be raised
And my heart suffered as my siblings begged for food
When my mind was begging for school
I wait for the course of the wind to change
I hope today is the day before the change

Mama! Mama!
The fire has boiled the herbs well
We can now treat my sister
So that she will be well.

Emmanuel believes in simplicity and justice, and he knows, as a prophecy, that Africa shall rise again and stand strong. His word is a call. Do not listen to him, but listen to your own soul; you shall then understand the need of Africa. The need of a wonderful future for children. 

Interview with HESBON SIDON NYAKWAR JAMOKO #Kenya #Africa #oneafricanleader

Somewhere around the dominant and inspiring Mount Kenya, live the dream and the vision of a whole country!

Mount Kenya
Mount Kenya

HESBON SIDON NYAKWAR JAMOKO opens up the doors of his purpose to the world. His countless fights to see children smile and dance in this Africa are the burning flame that should and shall make his land the wonder spreading its blessed wings.
Hesbon’s answers to questions about OneAfricanChild Foundation for Creative Learning tell us all about the state of mind and the strong belief of this African Root.

What were your dreams as a child?
When I was young, I dreamt of being a President.

Could you tell something significant you happened to do for a child?
At the age of 22, as I was watching an insight feature about our community, on the plight of young girls who were missing school because they couldn’t afford sanitary towels during periods, something touched me. I took this initiative first by donating only ten pieces- the 1st ever. Now some friends and I donate 1500 boxes to 5 schools around us.

What is the first word that naturally comes to your mind when you hear “Children”?
PEACE.

How did OneAfricanChild get into your life?
OAC, since its inception, has always inspired me to move forward even when I was almost dropping the initiative. I am Indebted to Victoria whom we frequently communicate with and so inspiring.

Why do you allocate such amount of time and hope to poor children and orphans?
If I don’t, somebody won’t. And at the end of it nobody will. I have to play my role.

How do you positively impact lives around you everyday?

Our people, especially the poor and the pro poor, don’t need to be reminded of their economic plague. But I will always inspire them on the few opportunities they have, and how to make it a reality with resources available.

Hesbon Sidon Nyakwar J, a man of peace and equity.
Hesbon Sidon Nyakwar J, a man of peace and equity.


Why do you believe in OneAfricanChild?

OAC not only inspires Child being, but carries it forward as a development programme. This has a long term effect and makes me have that confidence.

There is something you can do for the future. What is that?
Making my community a better place for the future generation.

Africa needs your country for the peace building process. Are you ready to be your country?

Yes. Many forums I have addressed and I believe that it’s only peace that can make Nations develop. I am ready to bring my experience on board.

What has changed in your life since you joined OneAfricanChild?

My perception towards girl child empowerment. It’s not only a community problem but a global challenge.

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It doesn’t matter whether you believe in God or not. The most important thing is that, He believes in you.

Hesbon Sidon N. J.